One Step at a Time

April 17: 12 miles
April 24: 20 miles!!!

I was nearly as anxious to run the twenty miles as I am to run the marathon. Oh, by the way, I signed up for the marathon on Monday! Friday the 23, the wind was blowing so hard, I decided I didn't care which way the wind was blowing, I was just running with it. I had planned to run to Malta (or nearly there) for my 20 miles the whole time, and was glad to see the wind cooperate. I was running pretty well until about mile 16, when I stopped to find some water Nate stashed for me. I looked all over and couldn't find it. I finally found it right where he told me he left it. I took a drink and tried to run again, but my body was tightening up. I did finish, but my body seemed to fight me every step. When I finished, Nate was there to pick me up (since I ran with the wind, there was no turn around. Nate was kind enough to drive and get me.) He told me I did a great job, but all I could think was that on race day, I have a whole other 10k to run. It will get done.

On my run, I thought, as I have other times, how our life is like a run. Each step we take gets us one step closer to the end. All roads lead to home. If I run a loop, each step is a step in the right direction, and is a step closer to the finish. When I run an out and back, it seems as if I am getting farther and farther from my goal, but it is good to know that at any time I can turn around and head for home. It is my choice. Sooner or later, though, I always turn around. Every step I take is one step closer to the finish.

So it is with life. Each step, for good or bad, takes us closer to our finish. Sometimes we are running a loop, and continually moving forward. Sometimes, we are running an out and back, seeming as if we are going the wrong direction. Isn't it good to know that we can turn around at any point. It is our choice. I think most of us, sooner or later, turn around. Whether we do or not is up to us. However, every step we take still takes us closer to the finish. How we finish is up to us, noone else.

Today I celebrate free agency. It is great a gift to be able to determine our own destiny, our own happiness, our own fate. We are not products of our circumstance, we are builders of our future. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, but we still have a choice in how we react to each and every situation. Life is what we make it. I choose to make it great. I choose to love it, experience it, and help others love and experience it. Running helps me do just that. I feel great when I run. It helps me see how great my life is. I will remember and celebrate this fact on my hard runs. Today determines my future, so to make that future shine, today I will run.

Long Runs

Long run week of March 6: 15 miles
Long run week of March 13: 16 miles
Long run week of March 20: 12 miles
Long run week of March 27: 17 miles
Long run week of April 3: 18 miles
Long run week of April 10: 19 miles

I haven't logged my miles in quite some time, so I can only remember the long runs. Last time I wrote, I was afraid I might have a hip injury that would sideline me. I almost didn't run the next weekend. I went ahead and ran, and only had minimal pain. It is almost healed now. The week I ran 14 was the worst week for me. I was discouraged, maybe that is why I haven't written since. Now I am only 7 miles away from the 26, and I know I can make it. My question now is, how long will it really take.
I had a hard run again Saturday, the wind was torturous. I ran with a group in Burley for about seven miles, then headed home to Declo just as the wind started blowing. When I got to 250 E, I decided I better run South for a mile, to add a couple more miles. It was a good thing I did then, because I never would have finished if I wouldn't have. The wind got to blowing so hard, I was barely moving. The only thing that kept me going was that I didn't have any other way home, and Austin had a t-ball game at 10:00. Anyway, it nearly killed me, or I thought it would, but I made it.
I have known for sometime, but have reaffirmed the fact that running is 90% mental, (see, Joe the snowboard instructor was right). Running long is hard, but, as stated by others, if you can run a mile, you can run a marathon. Someone asked me, "How can you run 16 miles, I get tired at 4." I told them, I get tired at 4, too, when I am running 4. It is all in your head. If you think you are running four, you will get tired before you're finished. If you think you are running 16, you will feel pretty good at four, but get tired before 16. I hope if you think you are running 26, you will feel great at four, medium at 16, and not get tired unitl about mile 24. I guess if I believe that is how it will work, it probably will. Maybe I should believe I won't get tired until 26.

So, in a bold move, today I will celebrate the wind. The last few weeks the wind has blown every time I have run. And when I say blow, I mean knock-you-over, take your breathe away, blow. My friend Lisa has a great saying when she rides in the wind, "I love the wind, it makes me strong." I too, love the wind (cringe) it makes me strong. That saying is true, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Isn't it funny how those things that are the hardest, help us the most. As I run, I think about what my brothers always tell me when I inform them that it is blowing in Declo, "It never blows in Boise." See how strong I will be, I will blow by those other runners, as the wind blows by me. I will be stronger because of the wind, and for that, I celebrate the wind. That being said, I hope the wind doesn't blow when I run tomorrow.

How Far is Too Far?

Monday: 4 miles
Tuesday: 6 miles
Wednesday: off
Thursday: 4 miles
Friday: 6 miles
Saturday: 14 miles

Saturday was the first time I really thought a marathon was a long ways. OK, I always knew it was a long ways, but my brain started questioning whether I could really run 26 miles. Part of the run Saturday went alright and the first ten miles I keep telling myself I could make the whole 14 no problem. I visualized, I uttered words of encouragement, (someone had to), and I knew I could finish. About the middle of mile 11, I wondered if I would even make it to 12. I took it one mile at a time, and eventually made it. Every mile, however, made a marathon seem impossible. A marathon is still 12 miles further than what I ran on Saturday. It is just under half of 14. I have a little hip pain now, and am hoping I do not go on the injured reserve list. With all the doubts and pains, I keep looking to my run tonight. I hope my hip feels alright as I run. I know if I can get through this week, and run 15 on Saturday, that a marathon will seem that much closer. Amazing how resilient we are.

Today I think I will celebrate B. He is a great kid who keeps me laughing all day. He is my biggest fan, and when he goes in the bike trailer with me, he chants, "Go mom, go." Funny that a little thing like that can give one energy, but it works for me. He always runs to give me a hug before I leave for a run, and if he is outside when I come home, he runs to meet me on the road. He likes to run with me, and do the "Hammer Run" in the summer. (Any time he runs is the Hammer Run.) He goes to first grade next year, and keeps asking me if I will miss him "so much" when he is gone all day. The answer is definitely yes. I will miss him. He can be stubborn and defiant, but he is also loving and funny. I will miss him, more than he will ever know. I love you Austin. One day, I hope to run with you, or at least not too far behind you. I will keep running for now, so when the day come, I will be ready.

Rest

Monday: 4 miles
Tuesday: off
Wednesday: 4.5miles
Thursday: 6 miles
Friday: Snowboarding
Saturday: off

This week in my training was suppose to be a "rest week". I ended up resting more than planned. Saturday's long run was suppose to be 9 miles (I know this doesn't sound like a rest to some, but it is a rest from the double digits it has been the last month). Anyway, I hurt my arm snowboarding Friday night. Of course, it was on the last run, right near the bottom of the hill. I wasn't even doing anything stupid (unless you count trying to learn to snowboard at 36 stupid). I really thought it was broken due to the funny pop I felt when I landed on it. Luckily, it is just a sprain and feels much better already. So now the question is, do I still do the nine miles today, and then run the 14 scheduled for Saturday, or just start where I would have normally been today. Maybe an in-between 7 miles today would satisfy the missed miles, but not add too many miles in one week. Running makes you think.

So, then comes the other question. Is it time to give up snowboarding? At first, I figured I was finished. I can't afford to get hurt. Now, I keep thinking, "I got bucked off. I just need to get back on the horse." When is it wise to quit? Should an old woman like me stick to what she knows, and not try something new? Am I just asking for an injury? I remember when Nathan blew out his knee playing ball. It upset him the first time. However, when he did the same thing to the other knee the day he went back to playing, he said he was finished. I remember telling him it was worth getting hurt every once in awhile when you are doing something you love. I told him I wouldn't be able to just sit on the couch and do nothing. Am I actually ready to do that now? Give up snowboarding because I got hurt once. The bad thing is, I am actually thinking maybe I will give up snow sports altogether. I guess I need to decide if the potential of injury is too great to even try. I hope not. I hope I go back on the hill, if not this Friday, then next. I am scared though; scared of really getting hurt. Scared of Nathan's reaction if I do. (I can't handle an "I told you so." I don't deal well with being wrong.) For now, I think my arm is well enough to run. Friday is in the future, today I run.

Meant for This

Monday: 5 miles
Tuesday: 1 mile; weights
Wednesday: 4 miles
Thursday: off
Friday: 13 miles
Saturday: off

Seems I took a lot of days off this week. It was Ethan's birthday, so we partied a lot. My cousin also came to visit, so I did my long run on Friday instead of my usual Saturday because I knew I wouldn't fit it in. We were to go skiing on Saturday, but life got in the way. Oh, well, we had an enjoyable visit anyway.

While running on Friday, I thought about how people are so amazed when they find out I have run a long run. As I thought about this, I realized that our bodies are meant to do this. They are made to run, to work physically. They are machines, and very efficient ones at that. They were not made to sit around in front of a computer or television all day. They were not made to eat excessively. But all of those things I do. This gave me motivation. I was doing what I was meant to do. To run, to labor, to work hard and enjoy life. Depression is so common today, and I believe it is because we are depriving our bodies of what they need, what they crave. I will remember each time I run that I am meant for this. Go out and do something physical today, sweat, get physically tired, and see if it doesn't feel great. I don't know what you will do, as for me, I will run.

It is All in Your Head

Distance:
Monday: 5 miles
Tuesday: 4 miles
Wednesday: 3 miles
Thursday: 6 miles
Friday: Snowboarding
Saturday: 12+ miles

Friday I went snowboarding with my sons' school. They both board, so I have taken it up, too. It is quite enjoyable, and makes me work hard mentally and physically. I love to learn something new, and to challenge myself to get better at it. I really enjoy snowboarding for this reason. The school will go three more times, and as much as I am enjoying snowboarding, I think the last time I will ski, it is also fun to do something that you haven't done for a long time.

Our snowboard instructor's name is Joe. He is a really great teacher. I had him a couple years ago when I was very first learning to board. (I have now boarded a whole two times since then.) He really has a way of helping his students understand what to do. One of the girls said he was the best snowboarding instructor she had, I know that is the case with me. Anyway, in the process, he said something profound. He told the kids that snowboarding, and everything in life, is mostly mental. If you believe you can do something, and go so far as to visualize yourself doing it, 90% of the work was done. He told them to go through the motions in their heads before they tried it for real. This was most of the battle. The other 10% was practice. Now, that is one smart snowboarder. I thought of that wisdom all night that night, and the whole time I ran the next day. I did just as he said as I snowboarded, and as I ran. It really worked. I saw myself doing what needed to be done, realized I could do it, and then went ahead and did it. What great words of wisdom.

Because of Joe, I would like to celebrate teachers. I have had some teachers all my life, like my parents. They have taught me about love, family, and all that goes with it. There are others like Joe who I have only known for a short time, but have taught me concepts that will stick with me my whole life. Life is a teacher in itself, and we learn something new from each person we meet, and each experience we have. Our job is to learn what is being taught, and to use it to better ourselves and others. I would like to thank all of those who have taught me, in school and in life. I am who I am because of you, and will continue to be molded by others along the way. In turn, I hope to be a teacher to other's in my life.

Is it Determination or Stupidity?

Distance: Thursday: 6 miles (200 route)
Friday: off
Saturday: 10.5 miles (Skagg's and back)
Weather: Beautiful high 30's to low 40's

This is the question of the day, is it determination or stupidity? Saturday I spent the day with the boys at Pomerelle. I did not get to ski or board, I just watched. I had planned a long run for Saturday, because I need to start logging miles if I truly am doing a marathon in May (I have not signed up yet, how is that for dedication). When I got home, I was tired and cold, and only wanted to sit on the couch. It was getting late, and the wind was blowing. Really, I pulled out every excuse in the book. I finally decided I would run with the wind, that way, I wouldn't get any colder than I already was. I asked Nathan to pick me up in an hour at Skagg's, and somehow we got to talking about the marathon. Nathan said, "Good luck with that." When I asked him what he meant, he said he didn't think I would be able to finish a marathon because I did not have enough miles under my belt. Now, he was not trying to be rude, or discouraging, he was just trying to be realistic and logical. As I started out to Skagg's, I felt slow and heavy. Once I got to the base of the hill, I started to feel great (it is amazing how that happens) and felt like I was running pretty strong. It was there that I decided that when I got to my turn around spot where Nathan was to pick me up, that I would start to run home. If the wind was not too hard, and I didn't get cold before he picked me up, I would run all the way home. I got to thinking how I did not want to be realistic and logical, I wanted to be crazy and fearless. Was it determination or stupidity? It may be crazy to run the marathon, but I am determined to do it. I noticed the wind had died down, and realized it didn't matter what the weather was like when I turned around, I was running home one way or another. I would prove to myself and to Nathan that I could run this course, and I will run that marathon course. I had thoughts on the way back about how amazing our bodies are, and how they will do things we don't know they can do.

Nathan was worried that cars would not be able to see me on the way home, however, he didn't even need to, because I ran so fast, no cars even passed me. This is one of the thoughts I had while running, it made me laugh. I mention this little side bar about the cars not passing because I have said before I have great thoughts while running. Anyway, when I got home, I was reading Readers Digest, and in an interview with Dr. Oz he mentioned that he used to try to do his thinking when he was on the treadmill. He would keep hoping off to jot down some terrific idea he had while running, only to find out later they weren't so great after all. Hum, could be my problem, too. He suggests yoga, but I might stick with my less than great thoughts I have while running.

I will celebrate my body today. It is amazing. It can take me anywhere I want to go. I am strong. I am healthy. I can run. Thank you body. Please hold our for ninety more years! I want to run again tomorrow, and forever.